(1 Corinthians 1:9 NIV) God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.




(2 Samuel 22:32-34 NIV) For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? {33} It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. {34} He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.




John 10:27......He goes before them and the sheep follow Him for they know His voice

Change.

It's time for something to be different. I've tried a lot to get this study abroad thing off the ground and there's always a door shut in front of me. MAybe I need to acknowledge that as a stop sign instead of trying to push through adversity and jump over hurdles. But that's what my time at CU has been about. It hasn't come easily to me- the grades, the friends, the lifestyle, a general sense of well-being.... and I keep wondering if there's something wrong... somethingI can fix... but I don't think I can fix it.

So I have to options: push through it for the next two years. Or move.

There's not a lot of places I would go because many don't make logical sense (Seattle, Whitworth, NYU, Fargo, etc.). So I figure I'll just stay at CU. That's why study abroad looked like such a good option. It would be a moment of stillness in the midst of the storm, a time of quietness and shalom. And then, after a semester... maybe after a year :), I would go back and finish as best I could at CU. That would be me pushing through. I could do it. I would do it if He told me to. I would stay for as long as He wanted me there.

But what if all of this is coming up here and now for a reason? What if the change of heart happened this last month for a purpose- in preparation for a change? What if He's answering my prayers to move in my life? What if He wants to move my life?

If that's where the Lord is directing, I'm there. I'm so there. It would be a both a relief and a challenge to me- but I'm so down because I know He's walking with me and preparing a road before me- a path for me to walk in. And whether that path is smooth or rocky (for the last few years, it's been a rocky one), He's there- so I'M there.

I don't know the exact spot where You want me, Lord. I think I know... I think the idea You've presented is just about perfect... and I would like that...

YOU lead the way- I'm in.

Friends @ CU

It's kind of hard to find friends at college. I'm not a party girl, but I'm not a goodie-goodie either. I want to have fun but not be dangerous or anything. I'm not 21 so I can't go out with my friends, and even then, most of my friends don't go out... I don't know what group I fit into- and unfortunately, it's kind of one or the other this time. I'm sick of being alone like in the middle of both groups. I'm sick of being bored. I love my life but I need more people, more excitement, more memories... I think with some effort I can get there eventually.

I'm Going to Italy! (part 1)

I don't even know where to begin in describing what was going on in my heart the last week.

I've tried a few times to write down everything but it's a long story. Too long for my little blog page.

Basically, the choice came down to using my money for going on the missions trip to Belize for spring break, or going to Italy during the summer. I really felt God leading me to go to Belize even though Italy is what I truly wanted to do and what I should do, academically speaking. But then He opened a door for me to go to Italy for fall semester... on scholarship. So that means I can use my savings for Belize.

And now I get to do both... :)

Thank you Lord. I saw You working this week and I am so thankful. Thank you for directing me about next year, and speaking into my heart.

Once again, my life is just a testimony of His faithfulness. He does not leave us to figure things out on our own. He does not leave us to suffer. He does not leave us to our own strength. He does not leave us alone. He does not leave us. Ever.

Nothing is certain, but if we're walking with Him, we'll be walking in His perfect plan for our lives. It's not about worrying about His will and the plan and our direction; it's about making sure we're following Him, that we're pointing our lives in His direction- that's the best we can do and it's maybe all we're asked to do.

So, I get to apply to Italy now. *Big Smile*

Wow.

I am amazed by what the LORD did today. 

He stepped into my life in a powerful way, in a real way. 

College

The big picture? I love college. It's been so fulfilling and so full of adventure.
But on a more focused level, I feel like I have a lot working against me. My credits didn't transfer over from Whitworth and I'm two credits short of being a Junior, here, in my second semester of Junior year. The housing thing made me see the areas of friction between my friends. I hadn't seen that before and it disturbed me to be quite honest.
I think I'm just tired. I can't sleep. This doesn't even make since.

News.

These are the headlines on the world news today are:
Gaza-Gas Crisis-President Barack Obama- Guantanamo- Global Financial Crisis- Planet Earth.
I just have to laugh a little bit at the sensationalism. The earth is going down the tinker, and we're all going with it! I think that's the general idea.
If I didn't have the hope of Christ- or even the promise of restoration at the end of time- I would definitely be a fatalistic, narcissistic glutton of love, money and power. Thank God for God. Is that too cliche? You know what I mean though.

How the Day Sounds.

All I have to say is captured in Greg Laswell's song:

Oh who would have ever known this?
Could be this easy
I was a long, long way off
Then just like that it was over
Everything I knew of love
I was a long, long way off

And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song

Thank you for opening the window
The sky is clear as my mind is now
I was a long, long way off
Join me in welcoming the sun in
It's much brighter than the night I hid in
I was a long, long way off

And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song
And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song

From a long way down.

Yeah, it's well worth the time that its taken to get here now
Yeah, it's well worth the time that its taken to get here now

Ba da dum...

So go ahead and bang a gong
Nothing can drown out the sound and the whisper of my love

And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song
And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song
Through this new song
Through this new song

And the lines have all been drawn
I know where I belong, where I belong,
Where I belong
And the lines have all been drawn
I know where I belong
Where I belong

And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song
And I think I like how the day sounds
Like how the day sounds through this new song

Oh, won't you sing along
Oh, my love won't you sing along

First Things First

Ha it's so awesome to have a whole website dedicated to talking about myself. If "You've Got Mail" was done in modern times, Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly could have had an incredibly deep relationship by reading each others blog spots. You can really get to know a persons thoughts through blogs, which is why I'm writing one now- to get to know my own thoughts a little bit. Last semester, it was crazy, and I need to be careful this time around, with my thoughts and ideas, with my impulsiveness, with my passionate and apparently highly volatile nature. It's a fire in there- and it needs to be reined in once in a while.

So, maybe I'll start with my New Years Resolutions for 2009 (They're lighthearted on the whole but some are pretty serious which I think is a good reflection of my personality):
1. Run a Marathon
2. Do most of the reading for my classes
3. Go to Italy
4. Hike some 14ers
5. Talk to everybody (ppl on the bus, at school, ppl I'm scared to talk to, etc.)
6. Suck it up!
7. Spend more $ on friends
8. Work less often but for longer periods of time
9. Public worship- share the love with everybody!! More piano, singing and guitar
10. Eat like more of a normal person (worry about cals less)
11. Pray for Surender (World Vision Child) more often and send him more letters
12. Encourage others!
13. Get invited to the Obama's Thanksgiving dinner
14. Show older friends that I sill and always will value them a lot
15. TRUST (God and friends and people who don't necessarily warrant it)
16. Compliment
17. Take a little bit of time everyday to relax and reflect and pray (in the middle of the day's business- not just at the end of the day)
18. LOVE.

Obviously this year is going to be great. I told Sarah Meyers how I'm definitely starting '09 out on the right foot and she says, "Well, that's all you can do!!" Ha that still makes me laugh. She's not often very sarcastic so when she is it makes me laugh for ever.

I have a few friends living aboard right now- not super close friends, but people I think about none the less- and I wonder what life is like for them. I truly marvel at the fact that we have the option to pack up our bags and just go live in another country. That's so cool. The only thing is that I don't WANT to leave for months and months right now. Ideally, yes, I'd be living with Linz, Analisa and Em in Seattle and going out to Pikes Place with them every saturday morning for coffee, produce and fresh flowers. But otherwise I love things here and now and I wouldn't really want to be away for such a long time. But maybe I'm missing out on something. Maybe they know something I don't. I'm sure I'll learn that soon enough though.

"Soon enough," ha. that could seriously be my life motto right now. I'm not throwing everything on the back burner or anything, but I just finally understand that my planning, my timing and my ideas are not necessarily where God's at. And I'm sick of asking Him to cater Himself to me... finally the tables have turned. That's definitely starting 2009 out on the right foot :)